We asked our adopters the following question…

What is the one piece of advice you would give to someone who is about to go through the adoption process?

and this is what they told us…

“Try not to stress and think what people may say or think. Above all don’t worry.”

“Be patient. The end will justify the means.”

“Get as much practical day to day experience with children and being with families so that you can fall back on their expertise/practical ideas when you finally have children of you own. Also start building up a support network of other adopters (by going to local meetings such as Adoption UK as they will be an invaluable support when your children are placed.”

“Be patient.”

“Be prepared for your life to change unrecognisably (in a good way) J”

“Be patient. The end will justify the means.”

“As a couple who have just been matched with a beautiful little girl, my advice would be to stay positive. The process can be hard and upsetting at times but keep positive and it will all work out for the best in the end.”

“Stay with it, at times it can feel a long and frustrating process but the end result is worth it. Also if the week of introductions with your child does not go as well as you think it should be don’t worry. Trust me it will be ok in the end.”

“Listen to all the advice but at the end of the day follow your instincts.”

“Be very patient with the process but keep pushing for it to be done quickly and efficiently. And when the end is near, enjoy but be realistic of yourself and ask for help from friends and family members. You are not super woman/parents, things will go wrong but there are a lot of good times.”

“Try to make relationships with other potential adopters through the initial training course and adoption meetings. Hopefully (as in our case) they will be going through the process at the same time as you so you can share/compare experiences and offer advice when your children are placed. Be patient, it is worth it in the end.”

“Be prepared. It can be a very draining process at times and very emotionally demanding. Make sure you’re ready for that.”

“Get involved with Adoption UK from day 1. Go to meetings and attend events (you’ll be welcome even without kids). You’ll learn the real side of adoption by doing this. You’ll also develop a good support network for when you have the kids.”

“Be honest; at any point if it’s too much too fast just take a break from the process. It’s intense and a lot to get your head around but worth it in the end. Also, build a good relationship with your social worker.”

“Relax. Although it may seem daunting at times as long as you are honest and open with each other and the social workers the process is very straight forward.”

“Do not give up! It can seem daunting sometimes going through the various stages, questions etc… but it is all relevant and the end result is worth it. We sometimes questioned the process but after completing it you understand how important it is to be able to be properly matched with your child(ren).”

“Try to keep an open mind, don’t agree just because you think you should but be open to what you can take on.”

“Go on all training and adoption get togethers available to you. Be around as many adopters as you can. Enjoy your time with your partner- life will change once you have your child.”

“Accept that it will happen, all good things take time, enjoy the process and try to understand that it is crucial to placing you with the right child for you.”

“Remember how it feels to face a life without children – awful- and know that you are on the path to becoming parents.”

“Remember and know that it will be your child, they will become a part of your family. You won’t look at them and think “they’re adopted” in the same way that natural parents don’t look at a child and think “they have my genes.”

“When you are questioning whether you are doing the right thing. Think! When you imagine having children – do you think much about the pregnancy or what you will do as a family? It will probably be the latter and you are now on the right path.”

“Out there right now is your little girl or boy waiting for you!”

“The process is a lot less intrusive than we had expected. The assessments were a useful process and we talked about issues and things that we may have not thought about discussing had we not gone through it. All parents should have to do it!”